Dyson baby!

Have been waiting for the newest miracle in vacuuming history to show up at the door. I have heard trucks drive by and heard phantom sounds at the front door and it is now 10:53am. I wen to check the front door some time back because I saw what looked like a FedEx truck drive by. Let it be noted here that Amazon does not use FedEx so I am not sure why I felt compelled to go to the door to get a disappointing glimpse of rain and dry leaves. The dry leaves a sore reminder that the front yard needs a sweep -- but it's raining I can wait. (You can see the front yard picture in the Rain! blog).

I am normally patient but I have been thinking of clean carpets for 4 months and even more intensely for the past 2-3 days. I have been dreaming about the bloody thing!

It is 12:20pm I just heard the door bell -- I bet you that's it...yes it is! It came! Vroom, vroom!! It is time VACUUUUM!!! (when you read this think WWF are you ready to rumble!!!)

Disappointment #1: The box looks damaged. I lay all the bits and pieces out on the carpet ready for assembly. Step1: I click in the long flexible hose. Do it twice to make sure I got it right. Then move on to Step 2: attach the long wand ...

Disappointment #2: the wand is severely bent and has holes. It must have been dropped or smooshed in transit. I guess I will be talking about Dyson's suction prowess another day. Humph!

Next: call to customer service!

After a brief, uneventful call to Dyson customer service, I will be receiving a replacement wand shortly. When I asked the customer rep when to expect it she hesitated and said in 7 to 10 business days.

Disappointment #3:(bad things always come in 3s) 7-10 business days!!! I purchased Mr. Dyson DC14 complete (a girl has got to have all the attachments) on the 18th and its yellow, purple and steel self got here on the 20th -- 2 days with no additional shipping cost. Amazon prime is a wonderful thing. Now, I won't be getting my satisfaction for another 1.5 - 2 weeks. So not fair.

I now have to look at broken promises and dashed expectations for all that time and wonder if the color choice was someone's idea of making the machine hip. I also begin to notice there is not much purple to the machine -- not as regal as I thought. I need to figure out where to hide it so I don't think about it. That way, when the part arrives I would have forgotten about the machine and it will a pleasant surprise.

Between the bent wand and the rain I am, yet again, depressed. No fun to be had this weekend exploring Dyson's cleaning power! I guess I'll go see a movie later to cheer myself up. Toodles!

6pm

Not to be beat by a blasted hose and wanting to try out my new toy I read the manual and nocticed I could attach the mini turbine directly to the hose. Ahh lift off! It worked well for a while then it started whistling signaling it needed its friend the hose. So, I abandoned that idea. Then looked at the manual one more time and guess what you can attach the hose directly to all the little tools they give you in the kit. So I looked for the stair tool thingy attached it and started on the stairs. It worked beautifully -- we have suction powah!

After doing the bottom half of the stairs and the platform I look at the canister. Now I feel like my house is really dirty. The canister is looking almost 1/3rd full -- it is only half of the stairs. I am back to feeling depressed about not being a good housekeeper. Farewell Dirt Devil, you go to goodwill tomorrow!

Rain!

It is raining! Raining! How exciting. When I was in SF last week there was a lot on the news about how little rain had been received and there may need to be a rationing for this year because there may not be enough for next year.

Well, the LA has the same problem. When they say it's sunny in California that is what they really mean. Out of the 15 inches expected by this time of the year we have only received somewhere under 2 so the rain is welcomed. It has been raining since last night and I am thoroughly delighted and one hair short of dancing in it naked -- John doesn't share my enthusiasm because he is from London where it rains all the time and the umbrella is as fashion necessary as a handbag. If you have seen his reaction when he leaves a brawly behind then you'll understand what I mean.

I love the rain and it was a welcome occurrence last night in getting me to go back to sleep because I had a terrible nightmare. The center of the drama was this Jekyll and Hyde character who when he turned looked like a cross between leprechaun and hulk and he had the green talons with ugly black streaks to match. Somehow I had been kidnapped by this character and was only let to see my family if I promised to make it back to his lair. Before that, it was a horrible combination of stinky breathing, an indescribable amount of fear, and faking sleep. Of course, I postponed getting back to his abode for a long as I could and grossly miscalculating how far I could push it, he came to find me angry as all heck and looking dangerously like he would turn. I guess I could not take that so I woke up. An imaginative mind has its downsides.

For the next 30-45 minutes every creak in the house sounded like a burglar on the stairs. The heating going on just about made my hair fall out and I even mistook the rain at the start as impending doom :-). With the tap tap tap at 4:30am this morning i was out like a light again in no time.

It is still raining now and it is 10am. Yippee! John makes fun of me because I always say I need the rain to grow. I do feel like a green plant some times the rain is necessary for my development. Ok, I know what you are thinking...

House Cleaning!

With John gone I promised to be domestic goddess extraordinaire. Now I wish I had taken a before and after picture. I had added incentive because Geral was coming for a visit. Everything had to be done by Friday morning. It is amazing what you can accomplish when the SO is not around.

I will not be earning housekeeper of the year anytime soon but this is ridiculous!!!

A glimpse of the Jato-Briginshaw living room at the height of disarray!

I had my list all set: (picture my list on stenographic paper) It is not the best image but I am new at this.

With list in hand I set off to do the daunting tasks using TV as my reward. Monday went Just fine except for the "throw away all old magazines and newspapers" part. Tuesday wound up being take out the trash and "Tarjay" day (for those who know Target is cheap chic). I have to say the living room was looking good! Anyway I was too tired after spending at Target and racing some guy at one of the traffic lights to clean too much and besides I worked my butt off Monday so I needed a break.

By the time I was in the drugged stupor of exhausted sleep Monday night, I had 3 boxes of "to be sorted" for John and the living room was sparkling like the teeth you see on the Orbit chewing gum commercials. Well, not quite sparkling but you get the idea when you think of then and now. The living room table is clear and to my greatest pleasure, there is no paper on the living room carpet. I am not too sure Lord Briginshaw will be too happy with me when he gets back but But hey, I did not throw away not a single one of his papers. Please note the double negative for emphasis on what I did not do.

On Wednesday I had to catch up with what I should have done on Tuesday so I went into high gear! Energizer bunny Janet cleaned all of the kitchen -- all the kitchen counters and and stove are spotless. Even mopped the floor! Cleaned both upstairs and downstairs bathrooms and put a load of towels to shake their hearts out in the washer and tumbled to dizziness in the dryer. The Swiffer and its wet and dry cloths earned their keep. Too exhausted to think straight and could barely decide on what to watch on the Tivo I went to sleep. Imagine me in bed at 11pm!!! I am a midnight or 1:00 am kind of gal.

All night I dreamt of the damage I would do on Thursday. Got up, put on a head tie (head scarf for those of you who don't know what I mean) and some jeans, hopped in the car, and headed to the local Starbucks for a coffee fix and breakfast. Now I realize why I miss John. He does this run almost every morning when I am at home. Now I have to deal with being polite at 8am -- uncivilized! You know, I found out no-one wants to talk to my sorry behind in the morning either. Fine!

Since I have some free time before my next meeting and I can't seem to wrap my head around the 25 page spec document I have to read in preparation, I make a bee line to the bedroom fold all the towels from the night before and start on the second bedroom tossing the sheets in the washer and the like. As I am doing this in a small daze, I am daydreaming about the Dyson vacuum cleaner I just bought. I can't wait for the thing to arrive you know the ads with the funny looking British guy that says "...the only vacuum cleaner that does not lose suction..." or something like that.

Sorry Babe (John), I know you hate the noise that the vacuum makes and everything that vacuuming represents but I could not help myself.

Yukiko would be proud of me I have been looking at one and researching for about 4 months before pulling the trigger. I even gave myself all kinds of reasons why I should not buy such an expensive bright yellow vacuum but everyone who has one, that I have talked to, raves about it and considering our allergies I had to get one. You notice I got one when John was not around ... but with names like "Animal", "Ball", "Slim", "Root 6" how could I resist? And remember that I was planning to be domestic goddess extraordinaire and how could I be all that I could be without the ultimate vac? I was sensible I bought a refurbished one.

Well, we'll see about its suction power and hypoallergenic nature tomorrow. I can't wait to toss my 12 amp no-good DirtDevil!!! With a name like that you would think it would pick up more stuff from the carpet. I remember many a time during vacuuming trying to pick up a wayward piece of shredded paper on the carpet and nearly burning out the motor in the process. Then I would be reduced to my hands and knees picking up by hand what the vacuum failed to do. http://www.dyson.com/range/range.asp?sinavtype=menu

By the way, John and friends called me on Wednesday to tell me how much they missed my not being in England. They all said it was too bad I could not make it and asked me what I was up to. I excitedly told everyone I was l cleaning!!! They must have thought I was mad! I was thoroughly psyched by my progress. John did make a mention about not throwing away his papers. After a 4-month sejourn on the living room table, they are all in neat boxes, darling, waiting for your arrival Saturday.

Oh yeah, Geraldina called Thursday and will not be coming over the weekend. I am bummed but I got a clean house in the process. Let's see what John thinks when he gets home! I wonder how long he will let it last ...?

All I have not done are the "Clothes?" and "Goodwill" on my list. Since I will be having no visitors this weekend I can go back to my procrastinating ways -- maybe Saturday I'll do it.

Bloody Jean Luc!!!

I was not planning to add another post so soon but ... we, John really, are all packed flight is at 2:45 pm it is now 12:50pm -- time to go. We decide on my car, my baby Jean Luc, named after the StarTrek captain Jean Luc Piccard. Trunk loaded with suitcase and laptop, backseat weighted down with a hefty accounting textbook with various pieces of important paper sticking out and we are good to go.

I stick the key in the ignition and turn, engine starts up, I release and it quickly dies. What?!?! I foolishly did it again because I could not believe I had been let down by my beloved Jean Luc yet there it was again a quick start then a sputter! We are truly being tested! This is not the time to deal with this so everything comes out of my car, John grunting with emphasis, and goes into Christian (John's car) and we are gone. Christian is named after a German friend of John's so it has some inflection to it -- if we are lucky Christian will make us rich!

We get to the airport at exactly 1:45pm an hour before the flight which is not great timing. After unloading the trunk and backseat and quick peck of a kiss I am driving Christian back to the highway secretly hoping John is on time. 20 - 30 minutes later I get a call from hubby saying all is well and he is at the gate but if he were not a gold member of United he would have been sorely late. Ah, relief -- sometimes scrambling to make the 50k flying miles every year on United is worth it!

I get home and the first thing I do after safely parking Christian is see if Jean Luc is really kaput. Silently praying, I try to ignite my car and it dies. I try the one thing they say not to do I lightly pump the gas and try again and it starts but this time I did not let my foot off the gas. I revved like I was about to try out for nascar. I left my foot on the accelerator for a bit then let go to see if he would keep on. Success, he did not die again so I left him humming for a while.

He should be fine now but it serves me right for not using the poor car in about 2 weeks. He was probably angry at being neglected. I vow to drive him extensively over the weekend!

Z'Tejas

It is Saturday (4/14/07) , my first day back at home after working last week in SF. Right after waking up I have 3 worries on my mind: Taxes, taking John to the airport, and a report to do for work. There is really a longer list but I would only amaze you with what I can worry about.

Before I go into those three, I slept in some contorted feet-over-the-arm position in "my chair" until about 1am this morning unsuccessfully fighting off a headache. I was watching TV, some of my favorite Tivo taped shows, and fell asleep then progressed into the sleep-and-watch-TV mode I even tried watching with one eye. John was out like a light on the couch. He is going to England today and the best thing we could come up with was having dinner out and watching TV. Finding dinner was not so bad because we got to use his new GPS toy to find a restaurant. I am beginning to warm up to the thing because we would never have eaten at this place if "Maude" had not guided us there.

By the way, Maude is the name we gave the GPS we used in England last November so we thought we should name our resident GPS Maude also as a pleasant reminder of our crazy driving times in that country. We also gave Maude a British woman's voice which tickles us to no end because she pronounces some of the streets very differently than the American way. We are planing to explore the area fully with Maude -- now we can be adventurous.

Back to dinner, well, we went to Z'Tejas in Irvine which just on the outside of one of the largest malls in this area called South Coast Plaza. The wait was supposed to be 30 - 35 minutes and the hostess (one of 3) gave us this heavy coaster thing which is round and the size of a 1/2 inch thick demi-tasse saucers and supposed to flash red lights and buzz when they are ready for us. It is a mall after all so we decided to go eye shopping. After a little debate on how far we could go before the thing would give us a perimeter warning we went in to the closest store to the restaurant: Brookstone. Brookstone is like a lower key Sharper Image all kinds of interesting little technologies that you never really thought you needed but after seeing them looked like pretty good additions to your growing mass of junk.

No perimeter warning and we started eye shopping at leisure: the foot massager, the mixed drink electronic recipe thingy, the incredibly small outdoor lanterns, stop snoring nose implements, wind up short wave radios, extremely cudly teddy bear ... We were in there for no more than 10 - 13 minutes (we checked our watches) and the thing went off. Wow, that was quick! Bright-eyed with anticipation of the no-labor feast we were about to eat we headed into the restaurant.

Bad news, so sorry (add a beautiful brunette face twisted in slight distress) the table was not ready (and bright smile all teeth) but it would be a few minutes. John and I watched 2 couples and a 3-some seated before us. Then we began to wonder about the wisdom of choosing a table outside. Then the brunette hostess with the interesting long strappy baby-doll dress stood across the room, waved a huge come hither and we were off to our table. On the way, she breathlessly explained that she had to clean the table herself because the busser was not attending to it fast enough. With smiles all around, all was forgiven and we were seated at a table next to a couple of guys speaking what sounded like Russian and a three-some at another table where one of the ladies was most likely drunk because you could hear her startinngly high pitched laughter across the parking lot.

To speed through dinner, I ordered steak and John ordered pork loin wrapped chorizo for entrees and for starters I had catfish beignets and he got seared ahi. The starters were yum yum and disaster struck with the entrees. I chewed on a piece of steak and all I tasted was was burn and nothing. I tried again and same thing. Beside me John was doing something weird with his face as he tasted his food. Mimicking his sister Jane's voice and a heavier Brit accent he said "my god that most awful thing I have ever tasted!" which send me into giggles. I must have looked folorn because he asked for us to switch and I said no. The waitress came over for the customary "how is your meal this evening..." chat. I looked at her, poker face gone, and said "it's ok" . Seeing I was doing a bad job of masking my disappointment with the food, she offered we should order something new -- I declined. She said we could work something out with desert ... hmmm interesting thought.

We ate a few more bites and when John offered to switch again and it was done in lightening speed. He liked my steak and he could not believe I really liked his creole inspired dish. Well, I did He called it mush I called it devine as compared to the steak. Waitress seemed relieved when she saw we switched and once again offered the dessert and listed what they were. As strong willed as we have been we could not resist that coconut cake. When it came it was by far the best part of the meal. To top it off it was delivered by the manager who was apologetic about our experience and said he would take the steak off the check. I said there was no need because we ate it in the end but he insisted. When the bill came it was sans steak and cake so we gave the waitress a biggish tip.

http://www.ztejas.com/location_ca_costamesa.php?section=costamesa

That dinner was the reason for us snoring in our respective seats when we got home. Food, sleep, then work. I realize worrying about the report for work is pathetic but it was due Friday and I could not get it finished because the numbers looked incorrect. The strange thing is it was not a hard report to do. But then, I have other reasons why it was not done, more plausible reasons like my mouse was on the fritz! It really was! Two to Three weeks ago I realized that I was twirling the trackball on my mouse a little too hard to get it to move. I got a screw driver, opened it up, and cleaned it as best I could. It was still a bit sluggish and I thought I could live with it but this week I was at my wits end so I asked Diane, our lovely admin for another mouse. Well, I got a mouse but it had the wrong connector so it was useless to me. Also, there was some suspicious looking crud on the left clicker. Ewww! Whoever used it before was not great about keeping edibles off the thing.

Since I had opened it up before I understood how the rollers worked so I knocked out the trackball and manipulated the cursor key on my screen with my index finger in the well the trackball had vacated. By the end of the week I got pretty good at it. It only works well in straight lines up, down, and sideways across the screen so you lose all the diagonal and circular action you are used to -- all wild and crazy mouse action is out.

All that to say in slow fashion I finished the report and compared it to the report done in 2001 and the numbers were well off. Bums! After all the painstaking straight cursor lines it did not look right and figured I did not know the denominator for the 2001 report. Ugh, should have asked that earlier. It was friday afterneed and I had a plane to catch so will just have to deliver on Saturday. Ick!

As for taxes they are due on the 17th and I started 3 weeks ago -- enough said. Next, John is going to Oxford to chaperone a yearly class for Pepperdine. I can't go this year because the fares are $1000. Can you believe it? So the base price is something like $600 - 700 which is manageable and after adding all kinds of fees and taxes you wind up with a ticket worth $1000 - $1100. Highway robbery! My outrage is complete I am not going!

Anyway, I have to watch him take off which is not pleasant (because I want to go too) and day dream of how I could overhaul the house in the 7 days he is gone. Most likely not going to happen but it is fun to dream about it. Maybe next time I'll write about my failed 7-day attempt at being a domestic queen and goddess.